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Persiflage (
persiflage-1.livejournal.com
) wrote
in
thisbluespirit
2013-09-23 01:38 pm (UTC)
no subject
Oh dear! Poor Nat and Tilly...
This made me laugh:
"Good," she said. Then she looked him over. "You've got blood on that shirt, and it was clean on today."
"Well, I'll try to bleed more carefully next time," said Nat, and closed his eyes again.
Couple of edits needed:
"That she didn't airily suggest I bring my wife or significant other without the realising the dreadful truth?"
no "the" before "realising"
Nat started back at her in surprise,
"stared" not "started"
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no subject
This made me laugh:
"Good," she said. Then she looked him over. "You've got blood on that shirt, and it was clean on today."
"Well, I'll try to bleed more carefully next time," said Nat, and closed his eyes again.
Couple of edits needed:
"That she didn't airily suggest I bring my wife or significant other without the realising the dreadful truth?"
no "the" before "realising"
Nat started back at her in surprise,
"stared" not "started"