"The Government isn’t doing enough to counteract the rise of demon worship in more remote areas of the country. It’d be a different story if it were happening in the Home Counties."

That is an absolutely glorious summary! And so true. Demon worship, alien invasion, whatever. In the sixties and seventies, they apparently didn't care what happened, if it was anywhere that wasn't suitably genteel, or where the locals didn't speak RP! Although "comedy" yokels with broader accents were permitted, obviously.

It's either that, or aliens are like American tourists, and only want to see chocolate-box-style England.

(I am in awe of your stats. They are a thing of wonder. :) )