Meme Results (Part 1)
28 Jul 2015 08:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thisbluespiritA bunch of resulting ficlets from the previous meme. I was going to start posting them as replies in the comments and then realised that'd slowly be giving the list away.
So, consider the previous post closed now, and here goes!
(I didn't stick to the word limit at all, I'm afraid. I was going to do demi-drabbles again, and then, a couple of hundred words later, decided I wasn't. Still, those meme police never have turned up yet.)
1.![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
rustydragonfly: Doctor Who/Blake's 7 - Eight + Liz team up to prank Vila (392 words)
***
“Congratulations!” said the first of the intruders. “I’m from Galactic Insurance and as our billionth and oneth customer, you’ve won the –”
“Billionth and oneth?” said the other, with a raise of her eyebrow. It was withering. Vila was glad she wasn’t directing it at him.
The man waved a hand. “As I was saying,” he continued with emphasis, “you’ve been pulled out of our lucky hat and we’re here to give you your prize. If you could just sign for it in triplicate and then make a call through to our headquarters, which you’ll find orbiting the lost planet of Garr –”
Vila decided that either he was still asleep and dreaming, or he was drunk, or he was asleep and dreaming and drunk, or these two were the worst con artists he’d ever seen. He should probably give them an award for it. “Look,” he said, trying to be as threatening as possible as he directed his weapon at them, “we’re not insured for anything –”
“Not insured?” said the man in tones of overdone horror. He even staggered back slightly. “Liz, did you hear that? Well, sir, this really is your lucky day –”
Vila sighed. “You know how it is – we would if we could, but when you tick the box that says ‘rebel against the Federation’ on the form, they stick the premiums up so high it’s not worth it. Besides, with Avon around, you’d just be asking to be defrauded. You don’t want us on your books, take it from me. Now, who are you and how did you get on board the Liberator?”
“I told you, Doctor,” said the woman. (Nice legs, Vila noted to himself. She was wearing an impressively short skirt to show them off, so he felt it was only polite to give them due admiration. Nice everything, he added, after a bit more polite admiration.)
The Doctor looked crestfallen. “Liz, Liz! And I was just getting into the part!”
“Look, I know you couldn’t have teleported,” said Vila, “so how d’you do it? How d’you get on board? Some kind of shuttle or something?”
The Doctor smiled slowly. “I think ‘something’ is a start. It’s a very long story. Now you seem like a reasonable fellow – do you think you could possibly stop pointing that thing at us while I explain?”
***
2.doreyg: Public Eye/Blake's 7 - Frank Marker + Vila Restal – happy birthday (278 words)
***
“Hey!” said Frank, returning to his office to find a stranger rifling through his drawers. “What d’you think you’re doing?”
His would-be thief looked up with a disarming smile. “I was waiting to see you and – well, then I sort of dropped a credit piece in your drawer that just happened to be open. You know how it is.”
“Yeah,” said Frank. “I do. Same way you found the door open, I suppose.”
“It was!”
Frank had been known to leave it unlocked when nipping over the road for a few groceries, but as he’d been tailing someone for the past few hours, he was pretty certain he’d locked up properly. “And,” he added, “you can give me back that envelope. The cash isn’t mine; it belongs to a client. I can’t afford to lose it, you know.”
“What envelope?”
Frank sighed again, and leant back against the door, his arms folded.
“Oh, all right, I’m sorry,” said his intruder. “There you go. But I seem to be stranded here, so I was in need and – and – it’s my birthday!” He gave another hopeful smile.
Frank gave a further weary sigh, and gestured at his intruder to take a chair. “Tea?” he said. “Oh, and if I were you, if you’ve nicked anything else, I’d give it back before Inspector Firbank gets here. Got a sixth sense about when I put the kettle on, worse luck.”
Vila looked innocent, but replaced two pencils on the desk. Frank was impressed. He’d thought he only had one left.
“Now,” he said, while he boiled the kettle, even though he knew he was going to regret it. “What d’you mean, stranded?”
***
3.dimity_blue: The Avengers/Doctor Who - Emma Peel + The Master – chaos (282 words)
***
The Master’s plan had been going so well, until his allies (the F’yelis) had turned on him. It transpired that they had in fact wanted him to work out how to operate their destructive little machine, rightly assuming it would be child’s play to someone with his superior Time Lord intellect. However, what the machine did was more than the Master had bargained for – left unleashed, it would bring the entire universe into chaos and while few people were more in favour of death and destruction as a general concept than he was, the Master preferred the idea of being able to rule, which in an utterly chaotic universe, would be impossible, even for him. It was something of a set back.
However, prior to contacting him, they had kidnapped some particularly intelligent humans and the last surviving one had proved to be impressively efficient in helping him to despatch them. In fact, he thought, giving credit where it was due, she was rather impressive in several ways – much more so than the waifs and strays the Doctor tended to pick up.
“Mrs Peel,” he said, surveying the ruined machinery and dead aliens they had managed between them, “I believe I am somewhat in your debt.”
She gave a slight, sideways smile, watching him. “Thank you. Your manners are impeccable, sir – I wish could say the same about your morals.”
“Morals are overrated. Rather inconvenient, I always find.”
“Possibly true, but I think they’re necessary. One can go too far.”
The Master opened the door for her. “There, I fear, we must agree to differ.”
“Oh?” said Mrs Peel. “Then we’d better hope we don’t meet again under other circumstances, hadn’t we?”
***
4.persiflage_1: Sapphire & Steel/Doctor Who - Sapphire + Liz – locked up (226 words)
***
Sapphire pressed her hand against the stone of the dungeon wall. Her eyes glowed a vivid blue and an involuntary shudder passed through her.
“What is it?” asked Liz, instantly, watching her with intense curiosity. “Is that the anomaly?”
Sapphire stared back at her, unseeing. “Limestone,” she said. “It’s been here six hundred and fifty-seven years. So much pain.”
Ah, thought Liz, for the first time this afternoon feeling grateful for her own lack of such abilities. For Sapphire, who sensed so much in everything, the walls of a dungeon must have a disturbing tale to tell.
“Loneliness,” said Sapphire, still distant. “So much fear and loneliness. Time becomes unreal. It must be counted, marked off on the stones, day by day, or it ceases to have any meaning. That may account for it.”
Liz sighed a little, reverting to her former feeling of frustration, because Sapphire’s words weren’t especially enlightening. Honestly, she told herself, to think she’d thought Silver was as frustrating as mysterious other beings could get.
“Ladies,” said a man at the door, “we’ve decided to let you go, after all.”
Liz turned with a frown. “Shh,” she said. “Can’t you see we’re busy?”
“. . . you don’t want to be set free?”
Sapphire swung around and gave him a slow smile. “Why should we? We’re exactly where we need to be.”
***
More to come... sometime. ;-)
So, consider the previous post closed now, and here goes!
(I didn't stick to the word limit at all, I'm afraid. I was going to do demi-drabbles again, and then, a couple of hundred words later, decided I wasn't. Still, those meme police never have turned up yet.)
1.
rustydragonfly: Doctor Who/Blake's 7 - Eight + Liz team up to prank Vila (392 words)***
“Congratulations!” said the first of the intruders. “I’m from Galactic Insurance and as our billionth and oneth customer, you’ve won the –”
“Billionth and oneth?” said the other, with a raise of her eyebrow. It was withering. Vila was glad she wasn’t directing it at him.
The man waved a hand. “As I was saying,” he continued with emphasis, “you’ve been pulled out of our lucky hat and we’re here to give you your prize. If you could just sign for it in triplicate and then make a call through to our headquarters, which you’ll find orbiting the lost planet of Garr –”
Vila decided that either he was still asleep and dreaming, or he was drunk, or he was asleep and dreaming and drunk, or these two were the worst con artists he’d ever seen. He should probably give them an award for it. “Look,” he said, trying to be as threatening as possible as he directed his weapon at them, “we’re not insured for anything –”
“Not insured?” said the man in tones of overdone horror. He even staggered back slightly. “Liz, did you hear that? Well, sir, this really is your lucky day –”
Vila sighed. “You know how it is – we would if we could, but when you tick the box that says ‘rebel against the Federation’ on the form, they stick the premiums up so high it’s not worth it. Besides, with Avon around, you’d just be asking to be defrauded. You don’t want us on your books, take it from me. Now, who are you and how did you get on board the Liberator?”
“I told you, Doctor,” said the woman. (Nice legs, Vila noted to himself. She was wearing an impressively short skirt to show them off, so he felt it was only polite to give them due admiration. Nice everything, he added, after a bit more polite admiration.)
The Doctor looked crestfallen. “Liz, Liz! And I was just getting into the part!”
“Look, I know you couldn’t have teleported,” said Vila, “so how d’you do it? How d’you get on board? Some kind of shuttle or something?”
The Doctor smiled slowly. “I think ‘something’ is a start. It’s a very long story. Now you seem like a reasonable fellow – do you think you could possibly stop pointing that thing at us while I explain?”
***
2.
doreyg: Public Eye/Blake's 7 - Frank Marker + Vila Restal – happy birthday (278 words)***
“Hey!” said Frank, returning to his office to find a stranger rifling through his drawers. “What d’you think you’re doing?”
His would-be thief looked up with a disarming smile. “I was waiting to see you and – well, then I sort of dropped a credit piece in your drawer that just happened to be open. You know how it is.”
“Yeah,” said Frank. “I do. Same way you found the door open, I suppose.”
“It was!”
Frank had been known to leave it unlocked when nipping over the road for a few groceries, but as he’d been tailing someone for the past few hours, he was pretty certain he’d locked up properly. “And,” he added, “you can give me back that envelope. The cash isn’t mine; it belongs to a client. I can’t afford to lose it, you know.”
“What envelope?”
Frank sighed again, and leant back against the door, his arms folded.
“Oh, all right, I’m sorry,” said his intruder. “There you go. But I seem to be stranded here, so I was in need and – and – it’s my birthday!” He gave another hopeful smile.
Frank gave a further weary sigh, and gestured at his intruder to take a chair. “Tea?” he said. “Oh, and if I were you, if you’ve nicked anything else, I’d give it back before Inspector Firbank gets here. Got a sixth sense about when I put the kettle on, worse luck.”
Vila looked innocent, but replaced two pencils on the desk. Frank was impressed. He’d thought he only had one left.
“Now,” he said, while he boiled the kettle, even though he knew he was going to regret it. “What d’you mean, stranded?”
***
3.
dimity_blue: The Avengers/Doctor Who - Emma Peel + The Master – chaos (282 words)***
The Master’s plan had been going so well, until his allies (the F’yelis) had turned on him. It transpired that they had in fact wanted him to work out how to operate their destructive little machine, rightly assuming it would be child’s play to someone with his superior Time Lord intellect. However, what the machine did was more than the Master had bargained for – left unleashed, it would bring the entire universe into chaos and while few people were more in favour of death and destruction as a general concept than he was, the Master preferred the idea of being able to rule, which in an utterly chaotic universe, would be impossible, even for him. It was something of a set back.
However, prior to contacting him, they had kidnapped some particularly intelligent humans and the last surviving one had proved to be impressively efficient in helping him to despatch them. In fact, he thought, giving credit where it was due, she was rather impressive in several ways – much more so than the waifs and strays the Doctor tended to pick up.
“Mrs Peel,” he said, surveying the ruined machinery and dead aliens they had managed between them, “I believe I am somewhat in your debt.”
She gave a slight, sideways smile, watching him. “Thank you. Your manners are impeccable, sir – I wish could say the same about your morals.”
“Morals are overrated. Rather inconvenient, I always find.”
“Possibly true, but I think they’re necessary. One can go too far.”
The Master opened the door for her. “There, I fear, we must agree to differ.”
“Oh?” said Mrs Peel. “Then we’d better hope we don’t meet again under other circumstances, hadn’t we?”
***
4.
persiflage_1: Sapphire & Steel/Doctor Who - Sapphire + Liz – locked up (226 words)***
Sapphire pressed her hand against the stone of the dungeon wall. Her eyes glowed a vivid blue and an involuntary shudder passed through her.
“What is it?” asked Liz, instantly, watching her with intense curiosity. “Is that the anomaly?”
Sapphire stared back at her, unseeing. “Limestone,” she said. “It’s been here six hundred and fifty-seven years. So much pain.”
Ah, thought Liz, for the first time this afternoon feeling grateful for her own lack of such abilities. For Sapphire, who sensed so much in everything, the walls of a dungeon must have a disturbing tale to tell.
“Loneliness,” said Sapphire, still distant. “So much fear and loneliness. Time becomes unreal. It must be counted, marked off on the stones, day by day, or it ceases to have any meaning. That may account for it.”
Liz sighed a little, reverting to her former feeling of frustration, because Sapphire’s words weren’t especially enlightening. Honestly, she told herself, to think she’d thought Silver was as frustrating as mysterious other beings could get.
“Ladies,” said a man at the door, “we’ve decided to let you go, after all.”
Liz turned with a frown. “Shh,” she said. “Can’t you see we’re busy?”
“. . . you don’t want to be set free?”
Sapphire swung around and gave him a slow smile. “Why should we? We’re exactly where we need to be.”
***
More to come... sometime. ;-)