Completely Random: On Being a Fraud

INTERVIEWER: So, Lost Spook, you write Doctor Who fan fic?

LS: Yes.

INT: So what's the Doctor getting up to in your current fic?

LS: Um. He's not in it.

INT: So it's about a companion, then, or you're a TARDIS kind of girl?

LS: No....

INT: Well, scrap that. What about your last story?

LS: No. That just had Queen Victoria and Disraeli.

INT: The one before that?

LS: Erm.... No.... It did have Sarah Jane and K9, though. And Bambera.

INT: Then what on Gallifrey ARE you writing about?

LS: Okay, it's about a character who was on screen for oooh... five minutes in 1983. And a lot of original characters. But it is about UNIT, so there are cups of tea and explosions and alien slime. Even if not much else happens and Torchwood hang around and are a bit evil.

INT: I thought you said you write DW fan fic?

LS: Well, I do. Ish.

INT: Do you have any friends who do?

LS: Lots.

INT: Well, give me their names. This isn't any use.

LS: Does it help if it has a time traveller?

INT: If their name begins with 'The' or Romana, yes.

LS: So, not if it's a stray Victorian housemaid, then?

INT: What did you say your friends' names were?

LS (as INT races off in a cloud of dust): Is no one interested in history??!!!