Fic: Literary Blackmail (DW)

[thisbluespirit]

Title: Literary Blackmail
Author: lost_spook
Rating: All ages
Word Count: 684
Characters/Pairings: Jo Grant, The (Delgado) Master
Notes/Warnings: None.
Summary: If Jo’s going to work with the Master, she knows it needs to be on her terms, not his. This is bad news for the Master.

For jjpor in the 500 Prompts Meme - #271 bribing the devil – Jo Grant & the Master.

***

“Well,” began Jo, also giving the Master her best glare (in case he hadn’t already got the part where she didn’t trust him one tiny little bit), “you have got two choices.”

“Miss Grant?”

“You see,” she said, “either you hand over that thingumybob right now and promise faithfully not to do anything to hurt me or anyone else until we find the Doctor –”

“As I have assured you, Miss Grant, I have no intention of harming you. Unfortunately, for the moment I have need of your, ah, assistance.”

“Yes,” Jo said. “Well, like I said, you hand over that jolly old whatsit or I’ll read to you! Don’t think I won’t!”

The Master blinked. “I beg your pardon?”

“So, you should,” she shot back. “Although I don’t expect that’s what you meant, was it? You see, it’s going to be a long trip, isn’t it? Well, if you do as I say, I’ll let you have some books and a bit of peace. If you’re going to be difficult, I’ll have to keep an eye on you. And read to you – can’t have you trying your little tricks –”

“And what, may one ask, are you threatening to read?”

Jo picked up a battered old hardback she’d fetched from the TARDIS (stored safely in the ship’s hold). “The Magic Faraway Tree.”

“I see.” The Master paused to take that in, before eventually adding, “One hardly dares to ask, but does it by any chance involve fairies?”

“Lots. One called Silky and –”

“All right, Miss Grant. Very well. I accept your conditions.” He passed over both the homing device and the Tissue Compression Eliminator – for the moment. He could get the better of her easily if he needed to, in any case. It hardly mattered. Whereas children’s stories about fairies…! He winced. If only he didn’t need her to retrieve the Doctor, but there was no getting around that as yet.

“Good,” said Jo and pocketed both before giving him a stern look. “I’m locking the cabin as well, by the way. Just so you know.”

“How considerate of you, Miss Grant. I do so value my privacy,” he returned. He sat down on the bunk. “And you did say something about more appropriate reading material…?”

Jo nodded. “Hang on. I’ll go and get them.”

The Master was left to wonder – rather apprehensively – what Miss Grant would consider suitable literature. Well, he thought, trying to look on the bright side, the Doctor saw something in her, didn’t he? And Earth literature frequently did have its attractions. He fervently hoped however there were not going to be any tedious romances or collections of nineteenth century sermons. If there were, he decided, once he had found the Doctor, finished with both him and Miss Grant, and assumed control of the planet, he would go back in time and deal swiftly and painfully with said authors before they could ever put pen to paper.

“There!” said Jo, returning out of breath and with an armful of thick volumes. She dumped them down beside him. “All the nice, depressing Russian literature I could find. And some Thomas Hardy – that sort of thing.”

The Master cheered up considerably, although he was careful merely to cast a bored glance at them before passing one back to her. “Why, thank you, Miss Grant. How thoughtful.”

Jo looked at title of the unwanted book. “Crime and Punishment? You know, I’d have thought that would have been right up your street.”

“The title is promising I grant, but sadly, the entire premise is false,” said the Master. “Now, if you’ll only go away and let me read in peace, then I give you my word as a Time Lord that I won’t try any of my – how did you put it? – tricks. Or at least, not until after we’ve found the Doctor.”

Jo nodded, but she gave him a wicked look. “Are you absolutely sure? Because I could read you my book if you want…?”

“As I said,” murmured the Master, “don’t forget to shut the door behind you, Miss Grant.”

***

Comments

[aralias]

presumably the reason the master hates fairies is that he's had bad experiences with them in the past. one time he tried to take over fairyland... funnily enough it didn't work out for him.

also, yay for more jo being amazing. good idea and good fic :D

[thisbluespirit]

presumably the reason the master hates fairies is that he's had bad experiences with them in the past. one time he tried to take over fairyland... funnily enough it didn't work out for him.

:lol: And then he had to join forces with the Doctor to stop the fairies, probably?

Thank you. This is basically what would have happened in Frontier in Space if it had any more padding. :-)

[john_amend_all]

You write a very good Jo. And of course the Master's would team up with her to rescue the Doctor — no-one's allowed to kill the Doctor except him :-)

[thisbluespirit]

Thank you! And quite - other people can't be allowed to go round killing the Doctor; that would just spoil the fun. :-)

[persiflage-1.livejournal.com]

*falls over laughing hard*

This is just utterly priceless!

[thisbluespirit]

Thanks! :-)

[rahirah]

I <3 Delgago!Master. :D

[thisbluespirit]

Aw, thanks. :-) Me, too!

[femme-slash-fan.livejournal.com]

I like this Jo! She's a badass.

[thisbluespirit]

Thanks! After all, she'd already threatened him with nursery rhymes, so... ;-)

[taiyou_to_tsuki.livejournal.com]

Delgado!Master would read Depressing Russian Literature. And believe Raskolnikov to be completely in the right (and probably weak-minded for giving in to conventional morals, hah). Besides, he's probably read it already - he seems too aware of the irony not to have (seriously, there was no other reason he was reading War of the Worlds in Frontier in Space than the fact that the title tickled him).

This was a fun read. No, Miss Grant, obviously he's not so easily cowed, he just has vastly superior taste in literature... :P

[thisbluespirit]

Oh, yes. And of course he tried C&P, he just thought Raskolnikov was far too weak and moral all the way through, and wondered at a human coming up with a concept that only really fitted him anyway, and of course disagreed violently with the ending. He wrote a letter about it to the Times while he was in prison. The editor declined to publish it. (I love that he likes reading books in Frontier - given that and Jo's nursery rhymes, you can see where this story comes from).

And, er, thank you, I mean. :-)

[akashasheiress.livejournal.com]

Good one! I could totally hear Jo's voice in my head.

[thisbluespirit]

Aw, thanks! :-)

[astrogirl2.livejournal.com]

LOL!

[thisbluespirit]

:-D

[eve11]

LOL! It's almost like they have a glib rapport :D

This fic really made me smile :) Thanks!

[thisbluespirit]

Thank you! And they do seem to have got to that sort of place by Frontier in Space, don't they? :-)

[doctorpancakes.livejournal.com]

Yes! You know these two together are my favourite two people to put together, right? Oh, they are so cute here!

[thisbluespirit]

Aw, no, I didn't know that, but they are always fun together - glad you liked it. :-)

[llywela13.livejournal.com]

Heeeeeee!

Oh, it's ages since I watched a good Jo-Master serial. You've put me right in the mood!

[thisbluespirit]

Thanks! :-)

I like that you and astrogirl2 have the same icon quote for a different Master each! (I only need someone with Delgado and another with the Movie Master to complete the set now; I think we don't need crispy!Master).

[llywela13.livejournal.com]

Heh, and the quote comes from a different show altogether (Firefly) - but it suits the Master so very well, in any incarnation!

[elviaprose.livejournal.com]

Excellent! Delgado + Jo = Love

“The title is promising I grant, but sadly, the entire premise is false,” said the Master.

That's such a Delgado!Master thing to say. I love it!

(P. S. I owe you a reply about the JC/B7 fusion--coming soon!)

[thisbluespirit]

Aw, thank you. :-)

Haha. And I thought I'd scared you away. ♥

[scifi-mel.livejournal.com]

This was brilliant! I love the relationship between those two. Of course the master would love the Russians and Thomas Hardy! Though he might not have hated the Magic Faraway Tree. I think he would have quite liked the land of do as you please. Did you ever read V for Vendetta? The fact that they read the Magic Faraway Tree in that is one of the reasons I love it so much!

[thisbluespirit]

Aw, glad you liked it. And, yes, I used to love the Faraway Tree books - I don't think they're the worst thing Jo could have picked on, but probably not his first choice. (Sadly, Jo wouldn't be aware of worse horrors like Rainbow Magic, so I had to fall back on Enid Blyton).

I haven't read V for Vendetta, but when I looked up The Magic Faraway Tree (to check it had been published in time for wee!Jo to read it), Wikipedia told me that too. That is quite cool. :-)

I bet the Master scribbles pencil notes of criticism in the margins as well. Probably in the Doctor's copies of books, just to annoy him.

[daibhid-c.livejournal.com]

Heh, brilliant.

Which reminds me, I should probably start on some of mine...

[thisbluespirit]

Thank you!

And, yes, why not? I am all for more fic. :-)

[paranoidangel]

That is so funny. And so them. Trust Jo to come up with a good threat for the Master.

[thisbluespirit]

Thanks! :-) And, yes, well, it was either that or nursery rhymes again, and even Jo might have found that difficult to keep up for an entire voyage...