thisbluespirit: (five/tegan)
[personal profile] thisbluespirit
I managed ages ago to write two ficlets, courtesy of the Unconventional Courtship generator, for [personal profile] john_amend_all's birthday which was *mumble mumble* ago. I finally managed one more, so here goes. Crack is probably the only way to deal with rl right now anyway.

Belated happy birthday, John!


499) Lord Braybrook's Penniless Bride by Elizabeth Rolls

Miss Donna Noble will do anything to keep from the streets - and the insufferably attractive Lord Silver urgently needs a governess! Headstrong, tawny-haired Donna is so deliciously endearing that Silver quickly forgets how scandalous it would be to yield to this attraction for his penniless governess...


579 words.

***

“So, where are your kids, then? If you haven’t got any kids, then that line about paying me anything I asked to be governess was a big fat lie! You’ve lured me back here under false pretences. I’m not having that! Hey, wait,” said Donna, backing away and nearly falling over her long skirts. She waved a hand wildly. “I’ve read about stuff like this. Well, you can think again, mate, ‘cos you’re not taking advantage of me!”

The so-called Lord Silver perched on the sofa and surveyed her with interest. He wasn’t sure if two were needed for this conversation or not. Currently, it seemed not. Miss Noble had talked all the way back here. The only difference now was added belligerence and volume.

“If this is an abduction, I’ll scream the house down!”

“I don’t doubt you for a minute,” said Silver. “However, my primary interest is in how you come to be in 1811 when you are in fact from the 21st century. Forgive my small deception earlier, but I wasn’t certain if you knew that you were out of time. It’s a strange business.”

Donna stopped for breath, at least for a few seconds. “Oh,” she said. She frowned and gave him a hard stare. “Then what are you? Not another Time Lord? Because that’s impossible. At least that’s what the Doctor says, and I suppose he should know.”

“Oh,” said Silver, relaxing into a smile, “you’re one of the Doctor’s friends. Well, as long as he gets out of here before Steel realises I don’t suppose too much damage will be done –”

They both turned as a head poked in round the door, followed shortly by the rest of the Doctor. He looked from Silver to Donna and then back again.

“Oh,” he said. He straightened his tie and coughed. “It’s, er, you.”

“I didn’t realise we’d met,” said Silver. “Or not in your current form, at least. Should I be worried?”

The Doctor turned an interesting shade of pink. “Worried? Why should you be worried? I’ve told your people before, when it comes to messing with Time, I know exactly what I’m doing. I’m an expert! The expert, in fact.”

“Steel would disagree.”

“Yes, I remember that, too,” said the Doctor. “Well, it’s been lovely catching up, but Miss Noble and I have got to be off to our rightful times and places, and I’m sure what we’ve been up to has nothing to do with whatever it is you’ve been called in to deal with –”

Donna put her hands on her hips. “Wait, Spaceman. And you, Lord Silver, are you, what, some sort of Time Policeman?”

“Silver will do,” he said, springing up from the sofa and giving her his best smile, before bending to kiss her hand. “And, no, certainly not a policeman!”

Her brows narrowed and she snatched her hand back, clutching it against her chest. “Hey. You’re not alien as well, are you?”

“Not precisely,” said Silver. “Not in the way you mean. I’m a technician. Here to fix a little snag in time. Which would be much easier without you two around. Did you say something about leaving, Doctor?”

“Yep. Right now. Come on, Donna.”

Somewhere else in the house, the back door creaked open and steady steps sounded in the hallway as someone else approached.

“I think,” said Silver, cocking his head as he listened, “that must be Steel now.”

“Donna,” said the Doctor. “Run!”


***

436) The Rake's Ruined Lady by Mary Brendan
Dishonourable intentions on her mind!
the Master keeps falling for unsuitable women… He believes the woman he loved, Servalan, is lost to him for ever, and now his new fiancée has cancelled their wedding!
But then Servalan re-enters his life, trailing rumours of illicit love affairs in her wake. Instead of marriage she offers him a very public, passionate kiss! To succumb to her skilful seduction would be the ultimate road to ruin, but is there enough of the old Servalan left to convince the Master to give her another chance?


317 words.

***

The Master studied the advice column in the newspad he’d picked up to read over his lunch in this dismal restaurant, but strangely it had nothing to say on what to do after one’s genius plan to take over the planet via a well-chosen marriage had failed due to the fact that his bride had turned out to be working with his fellow conspirators to betray him, and he’d had to kill them all without even being able to team up with the Doctor to do it.

He’d had a tasteful wedding reception booked, and said bride had been exceedingly rich and attractive. He sighed. How did people cheer themselves up if they were trying to hold back on invading their best enemy’s favourite planet less than once a fortnight? (One didn’t want to seem too eager.)

“Why, if it isn’t Lord Magister of Alpha Martu,” said a familiar voice in his ear. “I thought you were dead. A mistake I’m sure we can soon rectify.”

The Master looked up. “Supreme Commander Servalan, how delightful to see you again. And much as I regret to disappoint you, the poison you selected was harmless to a Gallifreyan.”

“Oh, it’s no disappointment, I assure you,” she said, and bent down to kiss him in full view of the rest of the diners. He felt a sharp stab in the left side of his chest as a blade pierced one of his hearts. “I’ve been wishing we could have a second chance. Do you think we could?”

The Master gasped, the pierced left heart giving up. He clutched at the table, and then laughed. “My dear, didn’t you notice – that I had – two hearts?”

“My love,” said Servalan, “you may rest assured that I have more than one knife. But perhaps, first, I’ll have you patched up – maybe we can come to some more profitable arrangement between us after all.”

***


420) Virgin Slave, Barbarian King - Louise Allen
Tegan Jovanka is horrified when barbarians invade Rome and steal everything in sight.
But she doesn't expect to be among the taken! As Elizabeth Shaw's woman, she's ordered to keep house for the uncivilized marauders. Soon, though, Tegan realizes that she's more free as a slave than she ever was as a sheltered Roman virgin.
It would be all too easy to succumb to Liz's quiet strength, and Tegan wants her more than she's ever wanted anything. But Liz could one day be queen, and Tegan is a Roman slave. What future can there be for two people from such different worlds?


294 words.

***

“Why is it whenever I go on holiday somewhere this kind of thing happens? You don’t want to know about the time my cousin decided a nice trip to Pompeii’d be just the ticket.”

There was no reply to Tegan’s complaints, since she was alone in a kitchen that needed some serious cleaning. Why were there scorch marks on the wall? What did her owner’s last slave die of? Her own cooking?

“Rabbits,” said Tegan, and folded her arms while she continued to glare around the place.

“Tegan, isn’t it?” said her new owner, walking into the kitchen. “I’m sorry about the whole kidnapping thing, but Alistair’s methods have never been subtle. I can’t free you just yet – it wouldn’t be safe until we’ve got to the bottom of this affair.”

“You’re sorry for kidnapping me? Yeah, right. After what your lot did to my Aunty Vanessa?”

Liz winced. “I am, honestly. And that wasn’t us, that was the Master. That’s what I’m talking about. He’s been plotting to take over the Empire, and we’ve got to stop him. And the Empire, too, for that matter.”

“Tell that to the bump on my head.”

Liz moved closer. “If you’ve been injured, I can take a look. I have some medical knowledge. And if you’re not too ill to lend me a hand, I could really use someone to pass me my pestle and mortar and stir the cauldron for me. None of these barbarians I’m lumbered with at the moment know where to start.”

Tegan looked again at Liz, elegant and poised in a white dress that was remarkably pristine if the other woman had been cooking up some weird potion earlier. She sighed.

One way or another, she was doomed. It must be Fate.

***


Plus, some summaries I generated but didn't write:

584) Goddess of Fate by Alexandra Sokoloff
Fated to Fall in Love…
Kryten doesn’t believe in fate. Especially when ‘Fate’ is supposedly a gorgeous god named the Ninth Doctor who claims to be his guardian, assigned from birth to watch over him.
Nine is meant to protect his mortal charges… not fall in love with them. But when Kryten is shot dead, his protective instincts are matched by a deeper need. To save his life, Nine must convince Kryten to believe who he is and trust him to help him.
But with just one day to do so, time is running out for Nine to prove that love really can alter fate…

[The original summary seems to have issues here: like how do they fall in love after the love interest is shot dead??]

315) Killer Affair by Cindy Dees
A plane crash had left the First Doctor stranded, with a tropical storm approaching and a serial killer on the loose. And it had brought him close — far too close — to the most compelling, most sensual woman he had ever encountered.
He knew there were dark, unspoken secrets in Seven of Nine's past. And yet he agreed to masquerade as her lover to try and trap the murderer stalking these once peaceful islands. But their charade of passion quickly flared out of control, until it was as real and as powerful as the rising storm — and made them the target of a madman's deadly rage...

407) The Redemption of Darius Sterne - Carole Mortimer
So innocent. So tempting...
Having built a global empire synonymous with excellence, formidable tycoon the Sixth Doctor is a man who gets what he wants. Always. And right now he wants ex-ballerina Samantha Briggs... in his bed and sighing his name in pleasure.
Virginal Sam can’t resist the allure of the brooding billionaire. But the closer he pulls her, the more Six threatens the barriers she’s carefully constructed to conceal the scars of her past. And Sam isn’t the only one with pain to hide...
Can her pure love dance into his heart and redeem the dark and damaged the Sixth Doctor?

606) Castle of the Wolf by Margaret Moore
Passion for his protector
Facing marriage to a woman he loathes, virtuous Michael Garibaldi is forced to choose family duty over his own happiness – until a high-stakes tournament ends in his abduction! Trapped with his fearless captor, the legendary Wolf of Wales, he soon finds himself irresistibly drawn to the man beneath the armour.
Though Jeffrey Sinclair captured Michael in the name of revenge, he can’t ignore his instinct to protect him. Although to love him might bring the wrath of his enemies down upon them…


391) Much Ado About Rogues - Kasey Michaels
Who is the darkly handsome G'Kar? With his air of mystery and menace, the whispers about him hint of highwayman or even dark prince. But no one knows how dangerous he can truly be. Now G'Kar’s mentor has disappeared and G'Kar must track him down before it’s too late.
His unlikely help: the man’s daughter – the very woman G'Kar had once wooed and betrayed. Lady Holly knows more about the fine art of clandestine activities – and about the mysterious Mr Narn – than he realises.
As their journey leads them on the adventure of a lifetime, their reunion is fraught with passion, high-stakes danger and the one twist of fate G'Kar never saw coming…


138) In the Flesh- Portia Da Costa
Victorian society already believes she’s a scarlet woman. Why not become one? Polly Wright’s reputation is in tatters. With scandalous photographs of her being scrutinized by the ton and her brother running them into debt, Polly’s only hope – a respectable marriage – is dashed. Then powerful, wealthy the Cat offers an indecent proposal: for one month of hedonistic servitude he’ll pay off her brother’s debts. But nothing can prepare Polly for the worst, for discovering that she enjoys her degradation and delights in the dark fantasies that Cat has awakened. In fact, she’s fast becoming addicted to a life, and a man, who can never wholly be hers…


487) Hot Flash by Donna Kauffman
the Cat's career as a photographer is finally taking off. He's been hired to take pictures of local heroes for a calendar that will be given out to school children. And he knows the perfect model — his sister's best friend is a sexy firefighter, and the man he'd like to photograph in a much more intimate situation.
Adam Adamant makes a reluctant role model — not only is he modest, but being in front of Cat's camera makes him feel exposed, even when dressed in his firefighting gear. But he must set aside the feelings he has for Cat — or risk losing the love and respect of his overprotective family, a family he looks on almost as his own.


233) After the Party by Jackie Braun
In his socialite days, Dalek Sec was the life and soul of every party! Now he's on the other side of the invitation, determined to become New York's premiere events planner if it kills him! Which working with strait-laced new client the Mistress could well do….
Missy has been too busy saving her family's business to enjoy much recently. She might have agreed to throw a themed party, but that doesn't mean she's off duty just yet! Until she meets Sec. Something about him tempts her to loosen her tie, take off her suit jacket and finally have some fun….

538) Girl in the Bedouin Tent by Annie West
Not your average damsel in distress!
Sheikh Sapphire has vowed to redeem her scandalous family name – so the last thing she needs on a tour of her desert kingdom is to have a sensuous blonde with more spirit than clothes presented for her harem. Fiery Lucie Miller might have been kidnapped by bandits and dolled up as the Sheikh’s love-slave, but she refuses to be any woman’s plaything.
Yet spending a week in Sapphire’s desert tent pretending to be her mistress would get under any girl’s skin. Especially when she is under her sheets.

556) Promise Me Tomorrow by Candace Camp
A beautiful thief...
Lord the Seventh Doctor can't help but be captivated by lovely Georgina Jones though he knows she's hiding a secret. The desire he feels for this mysterious woman is powerful, as is his need to unravel her mystery...
A lost legacy...
Georgie can't remember anything of her life before she ended up in an orphanage. Her future changes again when she is taken in by a warmly eccentric family of pickpockets and thieves. Georgie's inborn grace makes her a natural thief, mingling with ease among the wealthy to find pigeons to pluck. Then Lord Seven catches her in the act.
A reckless passion...
But someone else is interested in Georgie's secrets, as well. A dangerous shadow from her past is closing in, and Georgie finds she has no choice but to place her trust in the one man she fears may be as reckless as she...

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