Belated Birthday Fic
20 Jul 2020 08:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thisbluespiritI am still not really coping, so am not keeping up. I will just continue to pop up with gifs, or in this case, fic, since I have also been managing some little bits of writing recently. Anyway, I have finished the birthday Unconventional Courtship fic(lets) for john_amend_all, plus the summaries I couldn't write but needed to share:
568) The Scarlet Domino by Sylvia Thorpe
Leela was strikingly beautiful, full of brooding hatreds, and raised in a sheltered world. the Tenth Doctor was exceptionally handsome, charming, and something of a rogue. Within an hour of meeting they were married.
They were both surprised by what happened. They fell in love. And Leela found the freedom she had always been denied. And Ten discovered that his life was in danger.
***
“You killed it!”
Leela wiped her knife carefully and sheathed it back on her belt. “Yes, Doctor. That was the last one. I told you I would protect you.”
“Yeah, you did, didn’t you? I’d forgotten how handy you were with sharp pointy objects. But I don’t approve of killing!”
Leela raised her chin. “Tell that to those vicious green things. They tried to kill you. Would you rather they had?”
“Well, not as such, no, but –”
“Then you should thank me, husband.” She met his alarmed gaze calmly, before suddenly faltering and glancing down. “I have some ideas about how, if you would like.”
The Doctor flapped his arms about as he struggled for words. Leela only sighed and pulled him closer by his tie. She liked him very much, but he was not that practical. Luckily, she was.
“Yeah, but, look, the thing is, this isn’t how this was supposed to happen! You were supposed to meet me earlier or later, whichever way you look at it. You think I’m the Evil One. This is just… wrong. Very wrong. And kind of disturbing.”
“You do not like being married to me?”
“No, no, didn’t say that! You’re definitely one of my favourite people when you’re not trying to stab things. It’s just… I’ve gone and buggered up my personal timeline somehow. There’s nothing else for it. We’ll have to get a divorce as soon as possible.”
Leela frowned, but then her expression cleared. “If that is what you want, then we shall get one. But first,” and she put her arms around him, giving him her most beautific smile, “you were about to thank me for saving your life.”
The Doctor cleared his throat. “Yes. Right. That. Good. Can’t let a lady down, can I?”
“Shh, husband. You talk too much,” said Leela, and kissed him briefly on the mouth.
“Really, really buggered up the timeline,” he muttered as she drew back and watched him almost shyly, fearing another rejection. The ways of the Doctor were difficult to fathom. Then, to her relief, he shrugged and gave a grin. “Oh, well. Got to consumate the marriage or those weird priests’ll come chasing after us again and we’re in enough trouble as it is. And, I mean, if I’m totally honest, it’s not as if I never thought about it before –”
He didn’t sound sorry about the prospect, and that was the important thing, so Leela took his words as merely a long-winded way of saying yes and kissed him again, this time much more fiercely.
Afterwards, Leela sat awake and alert, keeping watch over her peculiar new husband – she could not be sure no one else would want to kill him. He had many enemies. She stared up at the night sky she was now free to travel and wondered what a ‘divorce’ was and where she would find one. Was it a fierce beast and if it was, what was the best way to slay it? But if that was what the Doctor wanted, she would find him one, no matter how dangerous the hunt. She raised her chin and tightened her grip on her knife. It would be no match for her, of that she was certain.
***
120) Sold to the Enemy- Sarah Morgan
Her one bright memory in a lifetime of shadows… Lucy Weston might be her father’s most hated business rival, but she’s the only woman who has ever made Charlotte Pollard feel beautiful. So, needing to make a new life for herself, Charley apprehensively turns to Lucy for help. Except the dark-hearted tycoon is nothing like the white knight she remembers!
Seduced, bedded and betrayed in a matter of days, Charley realises it’s not always better the devil you know… She’s sold her soul – and her heart – to the enemy!
***
Charley realised too late that she should have asked a few more questions, such as exactly how did a young lady she’d once run into in the early 1890s come to be hanging around in the 1920s looking barely any older? Wasn’t that just a tad suspicious? She really should have learned by now.
As Lucy entered the room, Charley couldn’t help staring past her to the mirror, which, strikingly, displayed no reflection of her friend.
“Gosh,” said Charley, pulling herself up in the bed, the covers tugged against her. She swallowed, but steeled herself. She had faced worse things than this with the Doctor.
Which was part of the problem, because Lucy wasn’t exactly… worse. Lucy was really quite charming, which of course, vampires probably had to be, assuming she was a vampire and not some sort of alien that merely happened to have a remarkable resemblance to the human idea of vampires.
“Charlotte, my dear,” said Lucy, perching on the side of Charley’s bed and putting a hand on her arm.
Her fingers were cool to the touch. Why had Charley not noticed that before? Some adventuress you are, she scolded herself.
“Lucy!” said Charley, tugging her hand away. “Did you want something? Can’t sleep, either, eh? Shall I go downstairs and rustle up some hot cocoa?”
Lucy leant in nearer and, honestly, Charley wished she wouldn’t, because her head was going all fuzzy, as if she’d been drinking pink champagne or something and her arm, where Lucy was touching her again somehow, didn’t feel cold at all, it felt distractingly warm; burning, even. As did other parts of her, now that she thought about it.
“Cocoa,” she said breathlessly, wriggling backwards and sideways towards the other edge of the four-poster. “Yes, I think I should definitely go and –”
Lucy reached in and lightly brushed her cheek. “It isn’t cocoa I want, dearest,” she whispered in Charley’s ear. She let her fingers trail down Charley’s face, and Charley slumped back against the pillows, unable to remember quite why she’d been babbling about cocoa.
“Oh?” said Charley, struggling to regain some power of thought. “Gosh. Um, I’m flattered, but I truly think – well, no, I can’t quite think at all suddenly, but I’m sure if I could, I’d know there was a jolly good reason why we shouldn’t do this.”
Lucy kissed her cheek and stroked Charley’s hair back from her face and neck. “Shh.”
Charley gave way at last with a soft sigh, eyes fluttering closed as Lucy continued to kiss her, moving down to her neck.
When she bit her, it hardly hurt at all.
***
305) Protecting Jennie by Ann Collins
Serving food in the Arizona desert was a far cry from the Fifth Doctor's high society background, but it couldn't be far enough from the future his father had planned for him — even if it meant wasting his doctoring skills slicing bacon. As determined as he was handsome, Five would let no one stop him from living his own life. Not even the beautiful stranger who kept turning up whenever he seemed to need her.
Detective-turned-rancher Holly couldn't deny her attraction to the man she'd first spotted at the depot — or her curiosity about him. But these days Holly was steering clear of danger. And the more she saw of the Fifth Doctor, the more the pretty fellow looked like trouble!
***
The Doctor’s undercover mission was going reasonably well so far. He had left Tegan, Nyssa and Adric on the other side of town to check out Restam Manor where the reclusive restaurant owner lived while he investigated one of his chain outlets by means of getting a job in the kitchens. What could possibly go wrong?
“Hi there, handsome,” said the microwave unexpectedly.
The Doctor frowned. He was sure it hadn’t had a display screen before, and it certainly hadn’t a face on it. Now it did. Probably female and very blonde. The late 22nd century had a tendency to make use of semi-intelligent household appliances, but the microwave hadn’t been especially interactive until now.
“Don’t worry, I’m just one of those Smart ovens,” said the woman’s head on the screen. “Here to tell you you’re overcooking that beef. That’s it. Nothing suspicious going on here at all.”
“It’s bacon, not beef.”
“Right. Both red meat, near enough. Bad for you. You should switch to a veggie diet. Anyway, looks like you’ve got the job well in hand, so I’ll just toddle off. Switching off, um, smart mode, that was it, wasn’t it? Bye-eee! Alexa out. Or is it Siri?”
The face vanished.
“Odd,” said the Doctor. He had been right to suspect that all was not as it seemed.
“Would you like some toast?” said the toaster. Its personality seemed to be over-eager to an extreme that didn’t speak well of its original programmer. The Doctor sighed, suddenly nostalgic for twentieth century technology or the lack of it. He’d been great in the UNIT kitchen, even if the Brigadier hadn’t agreed with him. Jo had always told him so. At any rate, none of the UNIT kitchen appliances had ever badgered him about bread products. “How about a muffin? Or a waffle?”
“Merely trying to grill some bacon, thank you.” He didn’t seem to be getting very far with his investigations and it was a worryingly long time since he’d heard from Nyssa, Tegan and Adric. What could be going on at Restam Manor? Who was its mysterious, dastardly owner?
“Hello, mayday, mayday, this is the Jupiter Mining Corporation ship Red Dwarf’s computer requisitioning this toaster’s operating systems to – oh, it’s you again. This isn’t the headquarters of the JMC, I take it? No. Of course it isn’t. Beaming SOS messages back through time is a right bugger to calculate. At least it’s the right century.”
The same face was now displaying again, this time on the toaster.
“Um, no, this isn’t a mining corporation, but I might be able to help. Either with your alert, or re-routing your message through my time machine.”
“Wow. And here I was thinking you were only an expert on bacon identification. Turns out you know about time and everything. Gosh. You’ve got my circuits fluttering.”
The Doctor examined the image on the side of the toaster. He frowned. “Are you wearing a tiara?”
“Yeah. Only an ordinary tiara, nothing special. Do you like it? I didn’t want you losing attention ‘cos you were bored or something so I dressed up.” Was she blushing?
“Um, yes, it’s very fetching. A charming tiara. Now, what is this problem of yours? It might even be connected to mine. I may be able to help.”
“Ooh, good point, because there is something very wibbly-wobbly in the time beacon’s – bugger, I’m losing the signal ag—”
“I knew it,” said the Toaster, released from the interference of the time signal and delighted to have the Doctor’s full attention. “You want crumpets!”
The Doctor hid beside the refrigerator unit in the dark, paused to observe any strange activity going on after hours.
Suddenly, beside him, the refrigerator unit beeped loudly, played an extract from the middle of Beethoven’s Sixth and when he looked at it, he found the same computer’s face beaming at him again. This time she was wearing a sparkly green feather boa.
“Hi! That you again, Mr Handsome Bacon Expert?”
“Doctor will do, thank you. And this really isn’t the best time –”
“Yeah. Sorry. Hard to calculate these things, like I said. Anyway, since you were so helpful last time, I thought I’d better pop back and tell you. You know that big emergency I was beaming SOS messages about back through time? The really urgent universe-destroying matter I needed to get onto the Corp about?”
“Yes?”
“A false alert. You see, I thought there was some weird anti-matter encroaching onto the edges of the universe destroying everything in its path, but it turns out Lister spilled his curry on the view screen again and the scutter in charge of cleaning it was off on a hiking tour of the lower decks with Rimmer. Sorry.”
The Doctor folded his arms. “Glad to hear it. I think. However, I am currently engaged in covert activity, so if you could take yourself back to the future while I get on with it, that’d be lovely.”
“Right. Yeah. Nice meeting you, anyway, Doctor. Maybe we’ll run into each other again.”
The Doctor considered that. He grinned. “I have a feeling that may be inevitable.”
“Ohhh,” said the computer on receipt of his smile, and fell somewhere out of sight on the screen. Before the signal vanished completely, the Doctor could have sworn he heard a crash.
What he didn’t hear, however, in the silent hours that followed, was anything of interest going on in the restaurant. He would have to go to Restam Manor himself. The only way to work out what was happening was to get to the heart of things and face down the mysterious T.E.H. Restam himself.
It was the only option. If he stayed here in the chain restaurant’s kitchens any longer, he’d have to commit first degree toastercide.
***
And now for the summaries that I couldn't let go without sharing but also failed to write. Which in some cases was definitely all for the best...
399) Another Side of Midnight - Mia Zachary
Two months, two weeks and four days ago, Jamie woke up alone in a hotel room. All Dracula left was a note — and a lot of questions. He's back, and he wants answers — but he wants more.
Smart-mouthed Vegas private eye Jamie McCrimmon is used to all kinds of trouble. He's nursing another black eye from his bartending sideline, his mom's dropping hints about nice Italian boys and Midnight Investigation Services is struggling. Otherwise, Jamie would never have accepted his current gig — suspected adultery, maybe embezzlement. Possibly murder. His ex, Count Dracula, wants to partner. Jamie wants to punish him for past misdemeanors.
But he's got to trust him or risk facing another side of danger alone...
250) His Counterfeit Condesa by Joanna Fulford
The Major and the wild English lion
Major Donna Noble does not approve of Wellington sending a man on a perilous mission across French-occupied Spain, but she can see that Mr Arnold Rimmer is no ordinary fellow! The marriage-shy major and the English lion must pose as the Conde and Condesa de Ordoñez, travelling to a high society ball, and soon Donna doesn't know what is more dangerous — the menacing shadow of French patrols, or the sensual torment of sharing a room with this tantalising charmer…
117) In the Heat of the Spotlight- Kate Hewitt
This woman’s power and passion will lay him bare… Ambitious CEO Miss Mackail needs a big-name star to help launch her luxury department store – everything hangs on its success. What she doesn’t need is washed-up pop prince and tabloid joke Flashheart… Faced with the sexiest, angriest woman he’s ever met, Flashheart knows his first comeback gig isn’t exactly going to plan. But Flashheart’s tougher than that, and he won’t let any woman, no matter how gorgeous, get beneath his skin – even if she does get between his sheets…
290) Her Boss by Arrangement by Teresa Carpenter
Resisting Miss Off-Limits!
Owner of Obsidian Studios Nyssa of Traken may be scarred both inside and out, but with the Hollywood Hills Film Festival fast approaching, there's no time for distractions. Especially not those as tempting as event coordinator Lucie Miller….
Who cares if she's gorgeous? Lucie's frustrated by this brooding CEO's aloof attitude and near-impossible demands. Even if Nyssa wasn't her boss, she'd never risk her heart to another emotionally closed woman. Normally she'd run in the opposite direction… so why does she feel so compelled to stay?
466) THE QUEEN'S LADY by Shannon Drake
By trying to help the reckless, defiant Mary Queen of Scots take her rightful place on the throne, Lord Edmund Blackadder is at perilous odds with Donna Noble, a leddy accomplished in both passion and affairs of state.
The more Edmund challenges her intentions, the less she can resist the desire igniting between them. But will Edmund's last daring gamble lead him to the ultimate betrayal - or a destiny greater than he could ever imagine?
279) The Engagement Bargain by Sherri Shackelford
Make-believe betrothal
Rock-solid and reliable, confirmed bachelor John Seward thought nothing could rattle him — until he discovers he needs to pose as Louise's intended groom. After saving her life, his honorable code bid John watch over the innocent beauty. And a pretend engagement is the only way to protect her from further harm.
Raised by a single mother and suffragist, Louise doesn't think much of marriage — and she certainly doesn't plan to try it herself. But playing John's blushing bride-to-be makes her rethink her independent ways, because their make-believe romance is becoming far too real…
570) Captain Grey's Christmas Proposal by Carla Kelly
Captain River Song was fighting malarial fever in Savannah when she met Dalek Sec. She proposed by letter — but it's taken ten years for her to receive his reply. The answer is, 'Yes!' but is he still free to become her Christmas groom?
[A missing scene from "The Husbands of River Song" no doubt. Can't think why they cut it.]
john_amend_all, plus the summaries I couldn't write but needed to share:568) The Scarlet Domino by Sylvia Thorpe
Leela was strikingly beautiful, full of brooding hatreds, and raised in a sheltered world. the Tenth Doctor was exceptionally handsome, charming, and something of a rogue. Within an hour of meeting they were married.
They were both surprised by what happened. They fell in love. And Leela found the freedom she had always been denied. And Ten discovered that his life was in danger.
***
“You killed it!”
Leela wiped her knife carefully and sheathed it back on her belt. “Yes, Doctor. That was the last one. I told you I would protect you.”
“Yeah, you did, didn’t you? I’d forgotten how handy you were with sharp pointy objects. But I don’t approve of killing!”
Leela raised her chin. “Tell that to those vicious green things. They tried to kill you. Would you rather they had?”
“Well, not as such, no, but –”
“Then you should thank me, husband.” She met his alarmed gaze calmly, before suddenly faltering and glancing down. “I have some ideas about how, if you would like.”
The Doctor flapped his arms about as he struggled for words. Leela only sighed and pulled him closer by his tie. She liked him very much, but he was not that practical. Luckily, she was.
“Yeah, but, look, the thing is, this isn’t how this was supposed to happen! You were supposed to meet me earlier or later, whichever way you look at it. You think I’m the Evil One. This is just… wrong. Very wrong. And kind of disturbing.”
“You do not like being married to me?”
“No, no, didn’t say that! You’re definitely one of my favourite people when you’re not trying to stab things. It’s just… I’ve gone and buggered up my personal timeline somehow. There’s nothing else for it. We’ll have to get a divorce as soon as possible.”
Leela frowned, but then her expression cleared. “If that is what you want, then we shall get one. But first,” and she put her arms around him, giving him her most beautific smile, “you were about to thank me for saving your life.”
The Doctor cleared his throat. “Yes. Right. That. Good. Can’t let a lady down, can I?”
“Shh, husband. You talk too much,” said Leela, and kissed him briefly on the mouth.
“Really, really buggered up the timeline,” he muttered as she drew back and watched him almost shyly, fearing another rejection. The ways of the Doctor were difficult to fathom. Then, to her relief, he shrugged and gave a grin. “Oh, well. Got to consumate the marriage or those weird priests’ll come chasing after us again and we’re in enough trouble as it is. And, I mean, if I’m totally honest, it’s not as if I never thought about it before –”
He didn’t sound sorry about the prospect, and that was the important thing, so Leela took his words as merely a long-winded way of saying yes and kissed him again, this time much more fiercely.
Afterwards, Leela sat awake and alert, keeping watch over her peculiar new husband – she could not be sure no one else would want to kill him. He had many enemies. She stared up at the night sky she was now free to travel and wondered what a ‘divorce’ was and where she would find one. Was it a fierce beast and if it was, what was the best way to slay it? But if that was what the Doctor wanted, she would find him one, no matter how dangerous the hunt. She raised her chin and tightened her grip on her knife. It would be no match for her, of that she was certain.
***
120) Sold to the Enemy- Sarah Morgan
Her one bright memory in a lifetime of shadows… Lucy Weston might be her father’s most hated business rival, but she’s the only woman who has ever made Charlotte Pollard feel beautiful. So, needing to make a new life for herself, Charley apprehensively turns to Lucy for help. Except the dark-hearted tycoon is nothing like the white knight she remembers!
Seduced, bedded and betrayed in a matter of days, Charley realises it’s not always better the devil you know… She’s sold her soul – and her heart – to the enemy!
***
Charley realised too late that she should have asked a few more questions, such as exactly how did a young lady she’d once run into in the early 1890s come to be hanging around in the 1920s looking barely any older? Wasn’t that just a tad suspicious? She really should have learned by now.
As Lucy entered the room, Charley couldn’t help staring past her to the mirror, which, strikingly, displayed no reflection of her friend.
“Gosh,” said Charley, pulling herself up in the bed, the covers tugged against her. She swallowed, but steeled herself. She had faced worse things than this with the Doctor.
Which was part of the problem, because Lucy wasn’t exactly… worse. Lucy was really quite charming, which of course, vampires probably had to be, assuming she was a vampire and not some sort of alien that merely happened to have a remarkable resemblance to the human idea of vampires.
“Charlotte, my dear,” said Lucy, perching on the side of Charley’s bed and putting a hand on her arm.
Her fingers were cool to the touch. Why had Charley not noticed that before? Some adventuress you are, she scolded herself.
“Lucy!” said Charley, tugging her hand away. “Did you want something? Can’t sleep, either, eh? Shall I go downstairs and rustle up some hot cocoa?”
Lucy leant in nearer and, honestly, Charley wished she wouldn’t, because her head was going all fuzzy, as if she’d been drinking pink champagne or something and her arm, where Lucy was touching her again somehow, didn’t feel cold at all, it felt distractingly warm; burning, even. As did other parts of her, now that she thought about it.
“Cocoa,” she said breathlessly, wriggling backwards and sideways towards the other edge of the four-poster. “Yes, I think I should definitely go and –”
Lucy reached in and lightly brushed her cheek. “It isn’t cocoa I want, dearest,” she whispered in Charley’s ear. She let her fingers trail down Charley’s face, and Charley slumped back against the pillows, unable to remember quite why she’d been babbling about cocoa.
“Oh?” said Charley, struggling to regain some power of thought. “Gosh. Um, I’m flattered, but I truly think – well, no, I can’t quite think at all suddenly, but I’m sure if I could, I’d know there was a jolly good reason why we shouldn’t do this.”
Lucy kissed her cheek and stroked Charley’s hair back from her face and neck. “Shh.”
Charley gave way at last with a soft sigh, eyes fluttering closed as Lucy continued to kiss her, moving down to her neck.
When she bit her, it hardly hurt at all.
***
305) Protecting Jennie by Ann Collins
Serving food in the Arizona desert was a far cry from the Fifth Doctor's high society background, but it couldn't be far enough from the future his father had planned for him — even if it meant wasting his doctoring skills slicing bacon. As determined as he was handsome, Five would let no one stop him from living his own life. Not even the beautiful stranger who kept turning up whenever he seemed to need her.
Detective-turned-rancher Holly couldn't deny her attraction to the man she'd first spotted at the depot — or her curiosity about him. But these days Holly was steering clear of danger. And the more she saw of the Fifth Doctor, the more the pretty fellow looked like trouble!
***
The Doctor’s undercover mission was going reasonably well so far. He had left Tegan, Nyssa and Adric on the other side of town to check out Restam Manor where the reclusive restaurant owner lived while he investigated one of his chain outlets by means of getting a job in the kitchens. What could possibly go wrong?
“Hi there, handsome,” said the microwave unexpectedly.
The Doctor frowned. He was sure it hadn’t had a display screen before, and it certainly hadn’t a face on it. Now it did. Probably female and very blonde. The late 22nd century had a tendency to make use of semi-intelligent household appliances, but the microwave hadn’t been especially interactive until now.
“Don’t worry, I’m just one of those Smart ovens,” said the woman’s head on the screen. “Here to tell you you’re overcooking that beef. That’s it. Nothing suspicious going on here at all.”
“It’s bacon, not beef.”
“Right. Both red meat, near enough. Bad for you. You should switch to a veggie diet. Anyway, looks like you’ve got the job well in hand, so I’ll just toddle off. Switching off, um, smart mode, that was it, wasn’t it? Bye-eee! Alexa out. Or is it Siri?”
The face vanished.
“Odd,” said the Doctor. He had been right to suspect that all was not as it seemed.
“Would you like some toast?” said the toaster. Its personality seemed to be over-eager to an extreme that didn’t speak well of its original programmer. The Doctor sighed, suddenly nostalgic for twentieth century technology or the lack of it. He’d been great in the UNIT kitchen, even if the Brigadier hadn’t agreed with him. Jo had always told him so. At any rate, none of the UNIT kitchen appliances had ever badgered him about bread products. “How about a muffin? Or a waffle?”
“Merely trying to grill some bacon, thank you.” He didn’t seem to be getting very far with his investigations and it was a worryingly long time since he’d heard from Nyssa, Tegan and Adric. What could be going on at Restam Manor? Who was its mysterious, dastardly owner?
“Hello, mayday, mayday, this is the Jupiter Mining Corporation ship Red Dwarf’s computer requisitioning this toaster’s operating systems to – oh, it’s you again. This isn’t the headquarters of the JMC, I take it? No. Of course it isn’t. Beaming SOS messages back through time is a right bugger to calculate. At least it’s the right century.”
The same face was now displaying again, this time on the toaster.
“Um, no, this isn’t a mining corporation, but I might be able to help. Either with your alert, or re-routing your message through my time machine.”
“Wow. And here I was thinking you were only an expert on bacon identification. Turns out you know about time and everything. Gosh. You’ve got my circuits fluttering.”
The Doctor examined the image on the side of the toaster. He frowned. “Are you wearing a tiara?”
“Yeah. Only an ordinary tiara, nothing special. Do you like it? I didn’t want you losing attention ‘cos you were bored or something so I dressed up.” Was she blushing?
“Um, yes, it’s very fetching. A charming tiara. Now, what is this problem of yours? It might even be connected to mine. I may be able to help.”
“Ooh, good point, because there is something very wibbly-wobbly in the time beacon’s – bugger, I’m losing the signal ag—”
“I knew it,” said the Toaster, released from the interference of the time signal and delighted to have the Doctor’s full attention. “You want crumpets!”
The Doctor hid beside the refrigerator unit in the dark, paused to observe any strange activity going on after hours.
Suddenly, beside him, the refrigerator unit beeped loudly, played an extract from the middle of Beethoven’s Sixth and when he looked at it, he found the same computer’s face beaming at him again. This time she was wearing a sparkly green feather boa.
“Hi! That you again, Mr Handsome Bacon Expert?”
“Doctor will do, thank you. And this really isn’t the best time –”
“Yeah. Sorry. Hard to calculate these things, like I said. Anyway, since you were so helpful last time, I thought I’d better pop back and tell you. You know that big emergency I was beaming SOS messages about back through time? The really urgent universe-destroying matter I needed to get onto the Corp about?”
“Yes?”
“A false alert. You see, I thought there was some weird anti-matter encroaching onto the edges of the universe destroying everything in its path, but it turns out Lister spilled his curry on the view screen again and the scutter in charge of cleaning it was off on a hiking tour of the lower decks with Rimmer. Sorry.”
The Doctor folded his arms. “Glad to hear it. I think. However, I am currently engaged in covert activity, so if you could take yourself back to the future while I get on with it, that’d be lovely.”
“Right. Yeah. Nice meeting you, anyway, Doctor. Maybe we’ll run into each other again.”
The Doctor considered that. He grinned. “I have a feeling that may be inevitable.”
“Ohhh,” said the computer on receipt of his smile, and fell somewhere out of sight on the screen. Before the signal vanished completely, the Doctor could have sworn he heard a crash.
What he didn’t hear, however, in the silent hours that followed, was anything of interest going on in the restaurant. He would have to go to Restam Manor himself. The only way to work out what was happening was to get to the heart of things and face down the mysterious T.E.H. Restam himself.
It was the only option. If he stayed here in the chain restaurant’s kitchens any longer, he’d have to commit first degree toastercide.
***
And now for the summaries that I couldn't let go without sharing but also failed to write. Which in some cases was definitely all for the best...
399) Another Side of Midnight - Mia Zachary
Two months, two weeks and four days ago, Jamie woke up alone in a hotel room. All Dracula left was a note — and a lot of questions. He's back, and he wants answers — but he wants more.
Smart-mouthed Vegas private eye Jamie McCrimmon is used to all kinds of trouble. He's nursing another black eye from his bartending sideline, his mom's dropping hints about nice Italian boys and Midnight Investigation Services is struggling. Otherwise, Jamie would never have accepted his current gig — suspected adultery, maybe embezzlement. Possibly murder. His ex, Count Dracula, wants to partner. Jamie wants to punish him for past misdemeanors.
But he's got to trust him or risk facing another side of danger alone...
250) His Counterfeit Condesa by Joanna Fulford
The Major and the wild English lion
Major Donna Noble does not approve of Wellington sending a man on a perilous mission across French-occupied Spain, but she can see that Mr Arnold Rimmer is no ordinary fellow! The marriage-shy major and the English lion must pose as the Conde and Condesa de Ordoñez, travelling to a high society ball, and soon Donna doesn't know what is more dangerous — the menacing shadow of French patrols, or the sensual torment of sharing a room with this tantalising charmer…
117) In the Heat of the Spotlight- Kate Hewitt
This woman’s power and passion will lay him bare… Ambitious CEO Miss Mackail needs a big-name star to help launch her luxury department store – everything hangs on its success. What she doesn’t need is washed-up pop prince and tabloid joke Flashheart… Faced with the sexiest, angriest woman he’s ever met, Flashheart knows his first comeback gig isn’t exactly going to plan. But Flashheart’s tougher than that, and he won’t let any woman, no matter how gorgeous, get beneath his skin – even if she does get between his sheets…
290) Her Boss by Arrangement by Teresa Carpenter
Resisting Miss Off-Limits!
Owner of Obsidian Studios Nyssa of Traken may be scarred both inside and out, but with the Hollywood Hills Film Festival fast approaching, there's no time for distractions. Especially not those as tempting as event coordinator Lucie Miller….
Who cares if she's gorgeous? Lucie's frustrated by this brooding CEO's aloof attitude and near-impossible demands. Even if Nyssa wasn't her boss, she'd never risk her heart to another emotionally closed woman. Normally she'd run in the opposite direction… so why does she feel so compelled to stay?
466) THE QUEEN'S LADY by Shannon Drake
By trying to help the reckless, defiant Mary Queen of Scots take her rightful place on the throne, Lord Edmund Blackadder is at perilous odds with Donna Noble, a leddy accomplished in both passion and affairs of state.
The more Edmund challenges her intentions, the less she can resist the desire igniting between them. But will Edmund's last daring gamble lead him to the ultimate betrayal - or a destiny greater than he could ever imagine?
279) The Engagement Bargain by Sherri Shackelford
Make-believe betrothal
Rock-solid and reliable, confirmed bachelor John Seward thought nothing could rattle him — until he discovers he needs to pose as Louise's intended groom. After saving her life, his honorable code bid John watch over the innocent beauty. And a pretend engagement is the only way to protect her from further harm.
Raised by a single mother and suffragist, Louise doesn't think much of marriage — and she certainly doesn't plan to try it herself. But playing John's blushing bride-to-be makes her rethink her independent ways, because their make-believe romance is becoming far too real…
570) Captain Grey's Christmas Proposal by Carla Kelly
Captain River Song was fighting malarial fever in Savannah when she met Dalek Sec. She proposed by letter — but it's taken ten years for her to receive his reply. The answer is, 'Yes!' but is he still free to become her Christmas groom?
[A missing scene from "The Husbands of River Song" no doubt. Can't think why they cut it.]
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Date: 25 Jul 2020 11:37 am (UTC)It's sort of worrying how well that Leela/Tenth Doctor one works.
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Date: 26 Jul 2020 08:11 am (UTC)