thisbluespirit | So i found a thing

I was just looking back at my old private posts here (which I tend to use as draft posts, except some never get finished. There are so many barely started manifestos & rec lists, and memes I will totally do one day hidden in there, amongst random posts I felt too ill to post and would be about six years out of date by now). And I found this, and had to share.

I think where this came from and why it remained hidden was because years ago

honeynoir was going to write an Unconventional Courtship fic involving Eleven/Idris!TARDIS and triplet babies & we wound up discussing how the babies would be non-linear and I wrote this hasty crack in response, except of course, I couldn't post it because

honeynoir was writing proper fic about time triplets.

Anyway, the point was, that non-linear time triplet babies pop up all over the timeline in the TARDIS obv, and clearly it would go like this:

One: "Don't worry, Susan. Ian and Barbara are experts are looking after children."
Barbara: "Yes, but, Doctor, the children Ian and I usually deal with are older than this!"
Ian: "Yes. Mind, you wouldn't think it sometimes, but -"
One: "Nonsense, Chatterton. You'll be splendid!"

Two: "Oh, Jamie, this will be fun!"
Jamie: "Aye!"
Victoria: *worries* "Are you two sure you know what you're doing?"

Liz: "I'm helping you with the science. Don't be sexist, Doctor."
Three: "Well, I can't possibly, not until I've got this console fixed and someone has to. They're rather in the way on that lab bench."
Liz: "Don't worry. We'll get the Brigadier to babysit. Tell him it's an issue of national security. I'm sure he'll cope."

Leela: "I am a warrior, Doctor. I have never learned the skills for nurturing the young. Besides, did you not tell me that you could do anything?"
Four: "Well, yes, but there's no need to take everything so literally!"
Leela: "Then you cannot take care of these children?"
Four: "Of course, I can! I would be absolutely marvellous at looking after children! Wait - I've got a better idea... K9!"

Tegan: "Change your own dirty nappies, Doctor!"
Nyssa: "I'm sorry, Doctor, but I know so little about human biology."
Adric: "Neither do I. I could teach them maths when they're bigger. How fast do humans grow?"
Five: "I wasn't asking for your help. I'm sure I can manage. Er..."
Tegan: "Hell's teeth, Doctor. Give that one to me. I can at least hold it the right way round!"
Five: "I'm not - Oh. Oh, dear."
Tegan: "S'pose they can't be any worse than your average lot of passengers."

Peri: "Okay, but you owe me a trip to a shopping mall like yesterday."
Six: "You can have an entire kingdom, a whole stellar empire, if you will only deal with those bawling brats."
Peri: "Some Dad you're turning out to be."

Ace: "Look, Professor, whose doorstep was that we just left them on? I mean, they will be all right, won't they?"

Eight: "Babies! This will be such fun! I've never had companions this young!"
Lucie: "Right, that's it. Take me home now! And you'd probably better land by an orphanage while you're at it."
Eight: "Lucie Miller, are you implying that I am not a fit guardian for three infants? How hard can it be?"
Lucie: "I might just be. Look, is there an intergalactic version of the NSPCC? Because I'm gonna need to call them in about five minutes from now."

Nine: "Rose, come back!"
Rose: "You didn't tell me you had triplets! It was only the time machine you mentioned! I should have known, shouldn't I? Men!"

Ten: "Martha. You're a doctor, aren't you, so you'll be great with raising kids! How about I leave you all here for about, oooh, ten years, that ought to be about right, and then I'll come back, pick you all up for a trip to a pleasure planet, it'll be brilliant?"

Ten: ". . . Martha . . . ?"

Eleven: "Oh, no. Spoilers!"
Rory: "Oh, my God."
Amy: "Wait, they're not like, us, shrunk or something, or from our pasts?"
Eleven: "... and aren't they cute? Don't you think they'd look better with bow ties? Little baby bow ties! How cool would that be? And don't be silly, Amy, I never looked that small and crumpled."
Rory: "Oh, God. I'm going to be raising them single handed, aren't I?"
Eleven: "And you're being silly, too, Rory. I'm sure the TARDIS will help."

Twelve (hiding behind the console): "Clara, there's something terrible in here with us! In the closet! No, no, don't look!"
Clara (opens the closet): "Oh my God, Doctor, you've got triplets in the wardrobe. Where did you get them from?"
Twelve: "Me? I was assuming they were yours."
Clara: "Definitely not mine."
Twelve: "Evil Time Babies!"
Clara: "Really? They look pretty adorable to me."
Twelve: "You can have them! You like children, don't you?"
Clara: "Not taking your evil Time Babies home with me, Doctor."

[Later and a century or so earlier]

Twelve: "Jenny! You and Madam Vastra - interspecies breeding - so difficult - I bet you always wanted to adopt. You can thank me when I'm not here - bye!"

***

I'm still half tempted to make it a full on crack fic, but honestly, I think this is probably enough.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

foreverdawning

hehehe i enjoyed reading this

From:

Set the fleet sailing...

So i found a thing

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