Picspam of Ye Olde TV (as I tend to do)

[thisbluespirit]

Since I seem to be determined to inflict fanfic on the world, here's a Frank Marker & Helen Mortimer picspam. I went to do something else, and then made these graphics under the heading of "research for fic". Probably a bit spoilery, at least as far as this relationship goes, but I'd imagine most people aren't going to watch it, so...


S4 (♥)

First meeting:


Helen: "I'm Mrs Mortimer. Welcome to Brighton. I hope you've brought some decent weather with you."


(I was going to write some commentary under here, but the trouble with S4 is that you need to write essays, and I'd better not go doing that again. So, pics. Enjoy.)


(First date:)



(The bottom left picture is the bit where he actually asks her out.)

Helen: "What can I do for you?"
Frank: "Well, I thought I might do something for you."
Helen: "Sounds promising."
Frank: "Mrs Reid and I are going to Billy Raybold's Palace of Varieties on the West Pier. Thought you might care to accompany us - chaperon the client."
Helen: "Tonight?!"
Frank: "In ten minutes time."
Helen: "Music hall, you?"
Frank: "Why not? Few corny jokes, couple of choruses of 'Daisy, Daisy', bottle of stout - do you the world of good!"


And then they come back singing "Daddy Wouldn't Buy Me A Bow-wow."

Frank: "Shh! You'll wake the landlady!"
Helen: "Ooh, a real tartar?"
Frank: "Oh, red hair and a terrible temper - and a Paddy - and a secret drinker!"


And have a Scotch in the kitchen and discuss Frank's problems.

Frank: "Finance and friendship, like oil and water -"
Helen: "Friendship? Coming out of your shell, aren't you?"
Frank: "Well, to tell you the truth, Mrs Mortimer, I'm a bit desperate. I've got to have something to talk to Hull about."
Helen: "Then perhaps you'd like to stop calling me Mrs Mortimer - like I was the vicar's wife!"

Helen: "Goodnight, Frank."
Frank: "Goodnight."
Helen: "Oh, and thanks for the show."
Frank: "You're welcome - Helen."


(Wiping up is fun!)


Frank: "Well, you have been busy, haven't you?"
Helen: "This is a trade like any other. You pick up a few tricks."
Frank: "Come on, enlighten me."
Helen: "How long do you have to be married before you know if your wife likes kippers?"
Frank (laughing): "Is that how you do it?"
Helen: "It works."
Frank: "Obviously."
Helen: "Four nights on the nest - if you'll pardon the expression -"
Frank: "I have heard worse."
Helen: "And they've nothing else in common. It's sad. I feel sorry for them. They're going to make each other very miserable."
Frank: "Yes, well, let's hope they don't create any permanent little miseries."
Helen: "Oh, you've no worries there. She's on the pill."
Frank: "You don't miss a trick, do you?"



Mrs Mortimer always knows how to get round Frank with a mug and a joke, even if it doesn't stop him from deciding to go.

Helen (reading the tealeaves in Frank's mug): "Oh. It's going to work out. And your horoscope's favourable!"


(I haven't screencapped S5 ep1 where he leaves her. I might one day now I'm a bit more rational and less likely to be overly distressed by it. Maybe. Maybe not. There's a mug with his name on it at the end, anyway.)


S6 (Congratulations, It's a Mug!)
Helen turns up for a visit just when Frank thought he'd never see her again. There is some awkwardness, but otherwise this is the Frank/Helen happy episode. (Yes. There's only one, because even when S4 is being happy, the dialogue is secretly stabbing you with glass splinters until you give up and die.)



Helen: "Aw, you've still got my mug."
Frank: "Wouldn't be without it, would I? Slight mishap with the handle, though."

Frank: "It's nice - nice to see you, Helen."
Helen: "You said."
Frank: "No, I mean it."
Helen: "I'll admit, I quite looked forward to seeing you, too."


I was only going to do one graphic from this episode... and then I changed my mind, because:


♥ (The bottom left pic is Frank busy saving Helen's son Nick from evil photocopier scams.)



Insp. Percy Firbank sees this across the pub bar and ships it on sight. This would be funny, except it isn't. (I'm not making things up here, btw. It's canon. Tragic canon.)



Be warned: don't get into ship wars, or try to force your ship to get together. Let things happen naturally. It'll start out like all happy like this, and end like this.

Percy: "You're important! Oh, not to me, I don't give a damn... For reasons best known to herself, you're important to that woman. Very important."
Frank: "That's not my problem."
Percy: "She needs her head examined, but that's something else. You could at least have the decency to treat her like a human being."


S7 (It's no use interfering)
In which Percy decides Frank needs to go back to Brighton (he really does), but Frank hates being manipulated, and Mrs Mortimer gets very unfairly caught in the middle and has had enough. Everybody gets heartbroken and decides to leave Windsor. (I do wonder what it was that Percy said to her, though. It is a mystery.)



Helen: "Frank, you have been silly."
Frank: "Have I?"
Helen: "Getting yourself in a state, can't even raise a smile. I thought at least you'd have a smile for me. You don't make people feel exactly wanted, do you?"



Helen: "Oh well, I'll pop in tomorrow. I bought some things."
Frank: "Make a note of how much."
Helen: "What did you say?"
Frank: "I'll pay you."
Helen: "You'll do no such thing, thank you very much! What I do is because I want to do it, not because you -! Oh, Frank. Just look at us."




Helen: "Sorry."
Frank: "Sorry, what for?"
Helen: "It was a mistake, wasn't it?"
Frank: "Bit too soon, perhaps."
Helen: "It's just I got the impression from something Percy - Oh, well. It's life, isn't it? I've stocked your cupboard. I'm off in the morning. You always know where to find me. Take care, Frank. Don't overdo it."

And that is the last time they were on screen together. You see why I am winding up writing fanfic. *sighsighsigh* (And right at the end there, there's a moment where he goes to say something to her, but she doesn't see, and then he doesn't see that she hesitates at the door. Why, yes, my TV show is sadistic, how about yours?)

Comments

[swordznsorcery.livejournal.com]

Zoinks! Colour! That was a bit of a shock.

These are great. They're such an expressive pair, in facial terms and by way of body language. And bonus Ray Smith, hurrah.

Sadistic TV is a git. The last couple I found myself shipping was on "Primeval". One half ceased to exist due to a time anomaly, then his parallel universe doppelgänger got eaten by dinosaurs (and a sabre-tooth cat and a gorgonopsid and a beast from the future working as a tag team if memory serves). And the other half got shot, but I'd given up and stopped watching by then.

Mind you, you clearly win for tragedy, because the "Primeval" story is just plain silly!

[thisbluespirit]

Ha, yes, the last episode of S4 is in colour on the DVD. It wasn't broadcast that way, but they made it in colour as a test. (It has b&w credits still, and a nice still b&w photo when Frank looks through the window at his new office.)

These are great. They're such an expressive pair, in facial terms and by way of body language. And bonus Ray Smith, hurrah.

:-D I thought they were, but it's nice to know they are.

I think eaten by dinosaurs will always win in the sadistic stakes, though, really. ;-D

[persiflage-1.livejournal.com]

Oh dear! I feel like I ought to dish out hugs all round!

[thisbluespirit]

Aw. I'll have a hug! (I think that Frank and Mrs Mortimer should just get on and hug each other, though. Heh.)

*hugs Pers*

[persiflage-1.livejournal.com]

Yes, you're right, they clearly should.

*hugs you instead*

[thisbluespirit]

♥

:-D

[liadt]

Sweet! While it's going well!

I can tell the wiping up dialogue comes from an Avengers writer (you are going to tell me I'm wrong now).

No don't screencap distressing episodes, I did that to fulfil 100 icons. Not a good idea, no, no, no, unless it's David Collings(!).

I like Percy's shipping dialogue - it's like the audience on the screen.

I've rewatched a 'Callan' ep where it starts with Callan happy and relaxed: shocking! It is actually. And then it goes sour, oh Callan you can never have a normal relationship can you? And as it the 60's there's extra flip-liddage from Mr Woodward. I hope the worrying looking last ep of Bulman turns out all right.

[thisbluespirit]

Thank you!

The whole of S4 is written by Roger Marshall, so probably yes? I have a feeling you said he did write some Avengers a while back?

I like Percy's shipping dialogue - it's like the audience on the screen.

Percy is helpful like that. Mind, so's Frank when dealing with his cases, and Mrs Mortimer. I can't do stupid commentary on it, because it always goes like this:

Me: WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT? Why did you not call an ambulance?

Mrs Mortimer: What were you thinking? Why didn't you call an ambulance?

Me: Frank, no, that's so unfair!

Mrs Mortimer: Unfair, weren't you?

Frank: *leaves Mrs Mortimer*

Me: No. I hate you.

Show: *subtly punishes Frank for it every other week until I want them to stop with that now, thanks*

And when Frank went out with someone else for one date, Percy told him not to for me. And then the show punished Frank some more about leaving Helen.

And all through S6, I thought someone should stage an intervention and send Frank back to Brighton and then Percy seriously went and tried to do that in S7.

So I give up. It is much too sensible a TV show. All I can manage is to suggest to Mrs M that probably she shouldn't greet strange men by asking them if they're any good with a screwdriver.

Aw, I hope the ending of Bulman is all right! ♥

[liadt]

I'm pretty sure I sent you '£50,000 Breakfast', which if memory serves me right, if it wasn't Marshall's name on the ep it recycles a lot of the lines, as well as the plot from an earlier Cathy Gale episode by him. I feel sorry for TV makers today - everybody has recorders.

Percy sounds the best! Callan sounds more cheery;)

The last Bulman ep summary promises "a life changing event", but as the other summaries have been wildly inaccurate I'm crossing my fingers. I hope it doesn't mean either of them end up brown bread, as it stuffs up my Unconventional Courtship story.

[thisbluespirit]

I'm pretty sure I sent you '£50,000 Breakfast', which if memory serves me right, if it wasn't Marshall's name on the ep it recycles a lot of the lines, as well as the plot from an earlier Cathy Gale episode by him. I feel sorry for TV makers today - everybody has recorders.

:loL: Okay, so the order I watched them in was The Winged Avenger, Something Nasty in the Nursery & the £50,000 Breakfast (I accidentally missed A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Station, because it was hiding behind The Winged Avenger)... and the £50,000 Breakfast was the one where I started feeling that I got the show, and I liked it! I think in terms of TV writers, I've met my Waterloo. I have such mixed feelings re. Roger Marshall, but he always defeats me. :-D

I still want to know also why Richard Harris was pissed off with Brian Clemens enough to name That Character (would be very spoilery to explain, but it is Not A Compliment) after him.

The last Bulman ep summary promises "a life changing event", but as the other summaries have been wildly inaccurate I'm crossing my fingers.

Well, marriage would be a life-changing event. Life-changing sounds sort of more hopeful than things like "shocking/dramatic/traumatic". I'm sure they would use stronger language for killing people.

Anyway, you'll cope! I know, I'm a Spooks fan. I've watched almost all the leads die in it, and have learned both Coping and Denial very well.

[liadt]

Hurrah, for Roger Marshall's Avenging influence. I don't know either. The Professionals fell out with Bri too. Personality clash?

I hadn't thought of marriage! I like that, as long as nobody gets gunned down. It'll happen in the last seconds. Murray Smith is getting a bit nuwho in the later episodes: i.e he's trying to squeeze too much in, mixed with ye olde TV slowness. I watched another good episode of 'Strangers' too (stayed awake) so I am slightly cheered up by that - they keep letting people go though!

[thisbluespirit]

Yes! Everyone will get engaged at the last minute, that's what they mean! ;-)

he's trying to squeeze too much in, mixed with ye olde TV slowness.

That sounds like a combination that could work, though!

[liadt]

\o/ cross fingers:)

Sometimes it does, other times it's: whoa! why are the end titles scrolling up?

[sallymn.livejournal.com]

I know nothing about the series, but I love the actress's face so warm and good-humoured and expressive :)

[thisbluespirit]

Aww. :-)

She's Pauline Delany (or Delaney) and I hadn't come across her in anything before this, either. She was an Irish character actress, primarily on stage, and while she did plenty of the usual guest appearances on various TV shows, Public Eye seems to be the only one where she had a regular role, so I'm glad I ended up watching it for that reason as well as for everything else.

[dimity-blue.livejournal.com]

People like that you just want to lock them in a room together until they've sorted out their differences and can see how much they belong together. I end up pretending they get together anyway, and I suspect you do the same.

I want happy endings, damn it!

[thisbluespirit]

In this case, it's getting Frank to believe he can stay, or not be a private detective, which seems to be impossible. Despite that, they were supposed to get a happy ending. I'd just like it to actually exist so I could watch it a hundred times or so, that's all. :lol:

(I'm not unreasonable.)

:-D