Unconventional Courtship rides again!

[thisbluespirit]

So, I continue to feel rotten, even though the weather is giving me a break but hey. ANYWAY, to turn to something more cheerful than weather, illness, and certainly than current news, liadt is running the unconventionalcourtship fest again this summer! Sign-ups open now!

unconventionalcourtship is the ficathon where you take a Mills & Book/Harlequin/Avon type book blurb and then kill it with fanfic use it as inspiration for a fic, as shippy or not, or cracky or serious or not as you please.

It's an old school fest, so you just choose a prompt and sign up for a posting day some time in August and there you are. \o/

Anyway, I doubt I can do it (see above), but in addition to pointing you to it, I have generated some random summaries from the Unconventional Courtship Generator in case anyone is short of ideas. I'm sure these would make great crack fic. XD (On more sensible note, you can also customise it for your own fandoms, too, if you want help with inspiration.)


458) Newlyweds of Convenience by Jessica Hart
For Better?
Corporate husband the Sixth Doctor has promised his new husband Mike Yates a businesslike marriage, with no messy emotions involved.
For Worse?
Then Mike announces he's moving to the Highlands of Scotland to restore the derelict castle he's inherited. And he expects Six to accompany him....
Forever!
As Mike swaps his suits for jeans, Six is bewildered. He married a sophisticated city type, but in the country he's rugged, capable and altogether gorgeous.... Soon Six realizes he's breaking the terms of their arrangement — by falling for his own husband!


617) Colton, P. I. Protector by Regan Black
A sudden attack and a dog-napping leave K-9 trainer the Fourth Doctor shaken to his core. Even more surprising is his rescuer: P.I. John Seward. Years ago his family stole John’s freedom, but now Four needs him to catch a criminal. And he must fight the urge to run into his arms!


336) Night Fever - Diana Palmer
Clara Oswald has her hands full raising her teenage brothers, running a farm, and earning a living. When one of her brothers is arrested, she has no choice but to appeal to D.A. the Eleventh Doctor. Can she really trust her heart to a man who has the power to destroy her?

(I instantly started wondering how many Claras are in this fic?)


29)EXECUTIVE BODYGUARD by DEBRA WEBB
Silhouette Intrigue
The stranger with her husband’s face...
Donna Noble, the first woman elected president, knew her term wouldn’t be easy. Then, months into her office, her husband tragically died in a plane crash - and she began receiving bone-chilling phone calls... Now, suddenly, Robin Hood has returned. And when the threats on her life began, like an executive bodyguard, Robin performed feats of superhuman skill to protect her. And as the danger escalated around them, it seemed less daunting than facing the feelings provoked by the tender touch of the stranger with her husband's face...


425) Never Trust a Rebel - Sarah Mallory
Flirting with danger!
Ten years ago Faith Lehane fled England, disowned by her family and branded a traitor. So returning to escort her new ward Sarah Jane Smith to her fiancé Archie Hopper is not only frustrating, it’s downright dangerous!
Faith Lehane is honour-bound to protect Sarah Jane, but when she discovers she is beautiful, intelligent and far too spirited for her own good, that’s easier said than done! Faith is in no position to offer her anything, but when every touch is forbidden – and yet oh, so delicious – she won’t be able to fight temptation for long…


311) Ghost Moon by Heather Graham
Reclusive collector Kerr Avon is seldom seen in Key West — lately, not at all.
Officer Servalan visits Kerr's curious house and discovers the gentleman in his study. In his death grip: a volume of occult lore and a reliquary. His eyes are wide with fright, his mouth a horrified rictus where spiders now dwell.
Vila Restal returns to the old house to catalog his estranged grandfather's collection of artifacts and antiquities, vowing to see his treasures divested properly. But he cannot ignore the sense that he's being watched, the reports of malevolent black figures, the pervasive smell of death. Is the Avon house haunted, even cursed?
Servalan knows well that some ghost stories are true and she swears to protect Vila. But there are forces at work for whom one more life is a pittance to pay for their deepest desire. . . .

(Vila is petitioning to be Mr Not Appearing in This Fic right now. Or at least, he will be after he's got his hands on those valuables.)


565) Navy Nurse by Rosie M. Banks (really)
Barbara Wright, pretty Navy nurse, had an attack of love at first sight. And she didn’t want to be cured.
The man was tall, good-looking and French. Thrilled by his kisses, Barbara longed for the day she would be Mrs. Adric.
But Adric never talked of marriage. And he was mysterious about his private life, especially the source of his wealth.
Meanwhile, the Office of Naval Intelligence had rated Adric “top priority.” And beautiful B'Elanna Torres, ONI agent, was making a particularly thorough check. B'Elanna loved Barbara deeply. She’d stop at nothing to save her from the dangers that threatened her happiness — and her life.


375) ABOUT LAST SUMMER - SANDRA PANTING
Bad Boy… Best Man.
Bill Potts – type A personality, dutiful daughter, and manager of the family event planning business – is organizing her sister’s wedding. Which is awkward, since last summer she fell into bed with the best man.
Orac is all wrong for her – commitment-phobic, recently divorced, and living on the other side of the country. He never promised her a future, and he doesn’t want anyone to know about their past. But history does have a way of repeating itself… and with the wedding coming up, their little secret is harder and harder to keep!


528) Silent in the Sanctuary by Deanna Raybourn
Christmas festivities at Bellmont Abbey are brought to an abrupt halt by a murder in the chapel. Blood dripping from his hands, Lord Rupert Giles's cousin claims the ancient right of sanctuary.
Forced to resume his deliciously intriguing partnership with the enigmatic detective Lucy Weston, Lord Giles is intent on proving his cousin's innocence. Still, the truth is rarely pure and never simple.


64) A STOLEN HEART by CANDACE CAMP
She’d stolen her heart – but could she be trusted?
Lady Harmony Kendall’s new business partner was not at all what she’d expected. Beautiful and outspoken, Servalan was also the perfect image of a woman long thought dead. But was she a schemer in search of a fortune, or an innocent caught up in circumstances she didn’t understand?
Someone knew the truth, someone who didn’t want Servalan to learn too much. Only Lady Harmony could help her – but could she overcome her own suspicions?


546) His Secretary's Little Secret by Catherine Mann
Millionaire scientist Worf son of Mogh has always preferred wildlife over weddings. But when the sexy bachelor is stranded by a hurricane with his prim-and-proper secretary, the raging storm isn’t the only thing that’s out of control. Now the Eleventh Doctor is pregnant with his child — and determined to keep things professional until he earns enough money to pay off his sister’s debts. But can he keep his secret that long? Especially when it becomes clear that Worf will stop at nothing to get him back into his bed…


596) Besieged and Betrothed by Jenni Fletcher
Ruthless warrior Flashheart has laid siege to Castle Haword, but there’s a fiery redhead in his way – and she’s not backing down!
More tomboy than trembling maiden, Lady Dayna Mellanby would rather die than lose the castle. Caught on opposite sides of a war, a marriage bargain is brokered to bring peace. But is blissful married life possible when Dayna has a dangerous secret hidden within the castle walls…?


306) The Golden Lord by Miranda Jarrett
His life was a lie...but their passion spoke the truth.
A life of deceit... On the surface, Tuvok appeared the model gentleman, but nothing could have been further from the truth. For him, every word and every act was a deception. Until he met Dalek Sec, the Duke of Strachen, and learned firsthand about love based on a lie.


522) Blood Magic by Jennifer Lyon
Dave Lister knows nothing of demons or magic. But this handsome young man is about discover that he is a warlock and the key to breaking the curse that has plagued warlocks and the men who hunt them. For if a Wing Slayer kills an innocent warlock by mistake, the price is no less than a piece of his soul.
Count Dracula, gorgeous leader of the Wing Slayers, has sworn never to shed the blood of the earth warlocks who have resisted the temptation of demonic power. But when his brother is cursed by a demon warlock, he discovers that Dave Lister may hold the cure - if he can master his new-found powers in time.

(To be fair, it's not as if Dracula would actually be the worst person Lister's ever had a thing with.)


20)LONETREE RANCHERS: COLT by Kathie DeNosky
All it took was one glance at the toddler in Sodoff Baldrick’s arms for Victor Frankenstein to know the two-year-old was his. Duty demanded that he do right by father and child so he swept them off to his ranch. Trouble was, spending day and night in such close proximity made the rodeo heartthrob realise that Baldrick still stoked his passion. Although he resisted his attraction to him, he knew he’d do almost anything to claim him as his own, once and for all!

(OMG. Franken-toddler?)

213) Light Me Up by Isabel Sharpe
The moment he sees the Master, photographer Count Dracula knows he wants him— as a model. (And maybe a little more.) Stunning, serene and very, very sexy, he's perfect. But keeping his hands off the Master is going to be way harder than he thought…
Once the Master is in front of the camera, he comes to life, channeling a raw passion that the camera— and Dracula— find irresistible. But each time he bares his body and soul, the intense sexual current between them grows stronger. And the more they give in to temptation, the more they both risk becoming exposed!


As ever, I'm not sure what's the funniest: the pure crack summaries or the ones that skirt eerily close to canon but really really not... XD

Comments

[theseatheseatheopensea]

These are brilliant, thanks for the laughs! :)

And I hope you feel better soon! <3

[thisbluespirit]

Thanks! I'm just under the weather! XD

The UC generator can always be relied on to make things a bit brighter.

[sovay]

Once the Master is in front of the camera, he comes to life, channeling a raw passion that the camera— and Dracula— find irresistible.

That's brilliant.

[thisbluespirit]

He does like to perform!

[calliopes_pen]

That last one. The Master/Dracula might just be one of the strangest of pairings. And yet, if merely an evil team-up, it could work.

It wouldn't be the weirdest thing the Master's ever joined forces with, I would presume...

[thisbluespirit]

Yeah, it certainly wouldn't the worst person the Master's ever teamed up with only to be betrayed by him and have to join forces with the Doctor in order to defeat him!

[romanajo123]

Feel better soon!! 🙏 🤗

And WOW some of those....!! Not sure if I’ll participate in the actual thing but can I still play with the generator? :) Crack might be fun

[thisbluespirit]

Anybody can play with the generator!

[astrogirl]

Can I vote for Donna for President, please? And I LOLed at a new version of Robin Hood showing up after the previous one died. I mean, I'm assuming this is the OUaT version, so, yeah. :)

And yes, OMG, Orac is, in fact, entirely wrong for Bill, but I still want to see them interacting now, anyway.

LOL!, yer a wizard, Dave! I think I genuinely want to read that one now. Magical Dave Lister and his unfortunate entanglement with Dracula would be freaking hilarious. Maybe it's another simulation?

[thisbluespirit]

And I LOLed at a new version of Robin Hood showing up after the previous one died. I mean, I'm assuming this is the OUaT version, so, yeah.

Me, too. I kept it in because I knew that you at least would also get the joke!

Magical Dave Lister and his unfortunate entanglement with Dracula would be freaking hilarious. Maybe it's another simulation?

I'm not sure - a simulation, a waxwork, a GELF, a hologram or the real thing are probably all possible in RD by now. XD

Oh, and it occurred to me to add Good Omens into it and the first thing it gave me was this:

147) One More Kiss- Katherine Garbera
[Aziraphale / Crowley]
Since his divorce, cupcake king Aziraphale prefers baking to boys...until a phone order from a sexy-voiced stranger melts his insides like butter. It isn't until Aziraphale makes the delivery that he realises - there's only been one man whose voice had such an effect: his mysterious, gorgeous ex-husband...

XD

[john_amend_all]

That prompt. Oh my.

[thisbluespirit]

It is quite something.

Of course, with Crowley in the mix, you get some fairly typical actor-related crossovers going too:

610) Lord Atwood’s Lovers by Eva Clancy
To the rest of the ton, Lord Aziraphale and Lord the Tenth Doctor seem to have the perfect marriage.
They wed for love and their marriage bed doesn't lack for passion; but Ten is haunted by the memory of his first marriage; while Aziraphale harbours secret thoughts and desires he's been unable to confess to his husband.
Then Aziraphale's ex-lover, Zen, arrives in town, throwing Aziraphale into a tailspin and awakening a surprising attraction in Ten. Now, both have to face the possibility that they may need more than just each other to be truly complete.

293) The Honeymoon Arrangement by Joss Wood
‘Yes, I will be your fake husband!’
Travel journalist River Song has bagged the honeymoon trip of a lifetime. The trouble is, after her world imploded two weeks ago, she’s now desperately in need of a husband!
Wild-child-turned-party-boy Crowley needs to get out of the country and away from painful family memories – fast. Accepting River’s honeymoon arrangement is the perfect escape plan! He might have to pretend to be a loved-up newlywed, but it’s a strictly no-strings agreement. Except one knee-weakening, brain-melting kiss from River later Crowley’s already struggling to remember what’s fake and what’s real.
And that’s before they’ve even started their ‘honeymoon’… !

629) Her Seven Day Fiancé by Brenda Harlen
To stop her matchmaking father, Rose Tyler, the newest gal in Haven, finds herself faux-engaged to Crowley – the town playboy! Though both are committed to staying single, could they be the perfect couple after all?

[astrogirl]

Dammit, where was this Crowley/River idea when Just Married nominations were happening? I mean, I normally dislike crossovers based around the same actor having played different parts, but I'm pretty sure I would read the heck out of that one. Especially if Aziraphale shows up later and gets jealous. :)

[thisbluespirit]

You should sign up to Unconventional Courtship and write it! XD

(And then I can read it; the actual perfect arrangement.)

I'm also amused to see in the other one that Ten is still moping after Rose, although clearly Zen should be Crowley, but you can't expect a random generator to oblige.

[astrogirl]

I might almost be tempted, except I still need to write my Into a Bar story -- It's mostly in my head! Hopefully this weekend I will get it out of my head and onto a screen! -- and then I need to figure out how to get the people I'm actually supposed to be fake-marrying (or possibly real-marrying) to cooperate. :)

[thisbluespirit]

Oh, well, if you're going to be sensible about this... ;-p

Good luck with both of those! I looked forward to seeing the results.

[astrogirl]

Ha! So, it's basically the Good Omens lockdown video, then? :)

[thisbluespirit]

The generator is a fan, apparently.

[lirazel]

That's the best ficfest idea I ever heard!

[executrix]

Whoever came up with the idea of a randomized prompt generator deserves a gong for Services to Fandom, and Mills & Boon is the perfect context to use it in.

[thisbluespirit]

Well, I've no idea who originally thought of such a thing, but the UC one is courtesy of john_amend_all, who maintains several amazing prompt generators and is a star.

[john_amend_all]

Aww, thanks! *blush*

[thisbluespirit]

It's great, isn't it? I don't know when someone first came up with the idea, but I think a very old Blake's 7 ficathon used it, and then aralias got into B7 and made UC out of it.

[paynesgrey]

I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling well still. I hope you feel better soon.
That community sounds interesting. *lurks*

[thisbluespirit]

Thank you! ♥

UC is pretty fun. I'm only sorry it's timetable has now slipped so far into summer that I can't really join in, but it's one of my favourites.

[liadt]

Sorry to hear you're feeling rotten *hugs*, but thank you for the pimping and for firing up the UC generator!

Dayna's secret is basically a big bomb isn't it?;p

Don't go there Master, you'll come off worse ... too late!

[thisbluespirit]

Thanks! Now the weather has calmed down, I just feel worse anyway! I expect I shall feel better just in time for it to go sunny again. Did I mention that I hate summer a few million times already?

Dayna's secret is basically a big bomb isn't it?;p

It's got to be some sort of super weapon, yes!

[paranoidangel]

I think the Avon haunting a house where Vila's got treasures is a fic that needs to be written.

I think it's safe to say Orac is very wrong for Bill. Or anyone else not a computer.

Flashheart and Dayna is an interesting pairing.

[thisbluespirit]

I think the Avon haunting a house where Vila's got treasures is a fic that needs to be written.

It does seem to like something that ought to happen some time!

I think it's safe to say Orac is very wrong for Bill. Or anyone else not a computer.

I'm not sure even most other computers would deserve Orac! XD

[paranoidangel]

I keep trying different summaries for UC and keep running into trouble with getting the characters to go along with them. So it's entirely possible this one might happen! At any rate, it's in my file of possible summaries.

[thisbluespirit]

Oh, cool!